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The sun has set and bedtime is approaching. It should be a time when couples come together to discuss the day’s events, to hold each other, and to gain a restful night’s sleep. However, if one partner snores, bedtime becomes a time of stress, frustration, and resentment.
For the non-snoring partner, the nightly struggle to fall asleep first and sleep through the night can be a great cause of tension. This individual may resort to earplugs, headphones with music, or even something as drastic as sleeping in the guest bedroom.
The spouse of a snorer may grow resentful of his or her partner, who appears to be sleeping peacefully all night, every night, even though that may not be the case.
Snoring is not a choice. And while that reality may be obvious to one’s conscious mind, subconsciously, a partner may begin to blame the snorer for keeping him or her awake and preventing restful moments as a couple, as well as interfering with intimacy. A non-snorer may begin to silently fester or verbally lash out at his or her partner.
People who snore may feel guilty for the trouble they feel as if they are causing in their romantic relationships. They may become apologetic and avoid sleep, which only adds to the strain of the relationship.
Snoring is a breathing-related sleep disorder that interferes with both the quality and quantity of one’s sleep. Snoring is most commonly associated with sleep apnea, which can cause numerous health issues, including, according to WebMD, the following:
The relationship itself will suffer from the effects of snoring. Since both partners may experience a deficiency in both the amount and the quality of sleep, they each may exhibit signs of irritability as well as the following:
Psychology Today reports that a lack of sleep can “make couples feel less appreciative of each other… greater feelings of selfishness.” The snoring partner may feel guilty and ashamed, even though he or she has no control over the problem, while the non-snorer may grow resentful and bitter over the lack of sleep.
Whether you are the snorer or the partner of one, there are things to do to help mend the strain on your relationship. Try one of these helpful tips:
Snoring does not have to be the end of your relationship. Opening up and discussing the problem is the first step towards solving – or at least understanding – the issue. Take into account each individual’s perspective and then take steps to address the snoring. Remember that snoring not only can affect the non-snoring partner’s sleep, but can also be a sign of sleep problems for the snorer.